This excerpt is from a book by Rex Russell (a former youth pastor of Karen's) currently in the process of being published named "The Butterfly Effect of Grace". Karen's story was also published years ago in a book written by Bill Glass (former pro football player, now an evangelist and writer).
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience of
trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened,
ambition inspired,
and success achieved.
Helen Keller 1880 - 1968
The LORD does not look at the things man looks at.
Man looks at the outward appearance,
but the LORD
looks at the heart."
1 Sam 16:7 NIV
It seems like yesterday I sat in a board room surrounded by men staring at me. There were questions on my ministry philosophy and how I would "do better" than the last guy. Somehow I made it through those "confirmation hearings" and was offered the student minister position. Previously I had traveled and spoken to students, and I was looking forward to being with them up close and personal, which I knew would be very different and very challenging. I was right.
It was the first week, if not the first day, when someone said to me, "Have you met Karen?" It wasn't the last time I heard that question. The pastor wanted me to make sure I met Karen. The first time I visited with my secretary, she asked if I had met Karen. I had been in student ministry long enough that many thoughts went through my mind. Do I want to meet Karen? Are they warning me, or trying to prepare me for a junior high student from, well, you get the idea? Needless to say, I was a bit concerned about my first encounter with Karen.
Then I did meet Karen.
And it changed my life.
Let me introduce you to Karen. This is Karen's story, in her own words. With her and her mother's permission I share this with you.
I was born in April of 1975 with a condition known as Goldenhar's Syndrome. It affects people in different ways but it causes craniofacial deformities. In my case, I was born without a right ear, lung, or thumb. In addition I am missing some of the bones on the right side of my face including my right jawbone. This gives my face an asymmetrical appearance. I was born with a cleft lip and palate which were repaired when I was very young .. Although this wasn't discovered until a few years ago, I was also born with an atrial septal defect (hole between the top two chambers of my heart). Finally, I began to develop scoliosis (curvature of the spine) at about the age of five. This became and is still considered to be a severe curvature. I can't stand up completely straight or hold my head straight and there is a hump on my back. As far as surgeries go, I have had a total of seven operations. Most people with this syndrome have many more but my parents and I together with the physicians involved in my care made the decision not to pursue extensive reconstruction on my face. Because I only have one lung and also because it is extremely difficult to intubate me (put a tube down my throat during surgery to enable the anesthesiologist to maintain an airway during surgery), it was decided that the risks outweighed the potential benefits of reconstructive surgery in my particular situation. I should also mention that I have a growth hormone deficiency so even though I am now 32 years old, I am still only 4 feet 7 inches tall and weigh 75 pounds.
Karen attended a high school with over 2,500 students. Karen grew up in Dallas, Texas, where it seems that everyone is cosmetically and surgically perfect, no matter what the cost or pain. Plastic surgeons are touted in every newspaper and magazine promising eternal beauty and ageless miracles. Every ad on TV screams to our need, our desperate need, to look beautiful and appear healthy 24/7; even if we are not. Our vanity knows no end.
Karen understands and loves God more than you or I ever will.
Karen takes nothing for granted.
Nothing.
You and I do every day.
Every minute of every day.
Yes we do.
Karen's mother, Pat, tells a powerful story of when she was first approached by the doctor that delivered Karen. He began to tell her the different problems that Karen was born with. She said all she could think was, "Stop telling me these things!" The list kept going. Pat said she was headed to a bible study one morning as she was dealing with this overwhelming challenge of caring for this new born with so many medical and life challenges. She said she walked into the room and even though the teacher had no idea what she was going through she had written on the board this verse;
Isaiah 55:8 'My thoughts are not your thoughts, and neither are your ways my ways, declare the Lord'.
Can you imagine that morning how that sentence must have leaped off the board? Pat told me the passage of scripture that carried her through many difficult days and nights was Psalm 139:13-16;
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Read that again, and this time try and picture what it was like when Pat watched Karen fall asleep at night. There had to be more than one night when she stood on the edge of her faith, leaning over into doubt, wondering how this would bring Glory to God. It did. How many nights did her faith whisper to Karen, "God is great, and He is very, very good. You can trust Him. He makes no mistakes. You are a perfectly formed gift from Heaven."
I remember the first time I sat down with Karen for a one-on-one conversation. She told me her favorite passage of scripture was where Samuel is sent by God to anoint the new king of Israel. He goes to the house of Jesse, in Bethlehem, who has eight sons. One of the first sons brought before Samuel is Eliab, David's older brother. According to the text, Eliab is a strong, handsome warrior who Samuel thinks is the new King of Israel. But look at what happens:
"When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, 'Surely the Lord's anointed stands here before the LORD.' But the LORD said to Samuel, 'Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.'" I Samuel 16:6-7
Karen said, "That passage encourages me, and it helps me to know that God always looks at my heart."
One year we went to a large camp with 1,500 students from all over the state. On a Tuesday night Karen got up and told her life story. She told how God was her source of strength. She said that even though she had many opportunities to question God for how she was born, she never did because she knew and understood that God never makes mistakes. She said she knew she was not an accident or just an incident; she was created by God, for God. She told about how when she felt afraid before a surgery or alone in a large crowd of people she remembered the unconditional love and acceptance of God. As she talked, Karen seemed to have a connection with God that was different and real. The thorn in her side, that would never go away, seemed to bring an intimacy and fellowship that was so deep.
She read her story from a piece of paper, never looking up at the crowd, and then quietly sat down. There was silence. You knew everyone there just heard truth. You knew this was a moment you would never forget. We didn't. After that brief silence, the entire place gave her a standing ovation. Karen always got a standing ovation. You could not remain seated after you heard her story.
It was as if in five minutes Karen helped every person in that place understand, for the first time, you have no problems.
You have much to be grateful for.
Life is precious.
Life is a gift.
God is good.
You and I are so self absorbed.
Yes, we are.
Karen didn't say that or even try to suggest it, but the message of her story said it very clearly.
Oh, by the way, Karen would tell you that she has no problems either. When Karen emailed her story to me, the title of the email was, "Romans 8:28, and we know that all things work together for good, to those that love God and who are called according to His purpose." You have to wrap your mind around that. Karen understands that everything has a purpose. Even for her, every day is a gift from God, to be lived with hope and joy. And someone, somewhere is always going through something much worse than you are right now. Wow. Perspective?
The speaker for the camp that week was a man named Dave Busby. If you ever heard Dave speak you know he was a very powerful speaker. Not much rocked Dave's world. He had his own valley of pain to walk through, having been born with cystic fibrosis and developed polio at a very early age. He lived and walked in a depth with God that staggered everyone's imagination. Dave was scheduled to get up and speak after Karen's testimony that night. He was sitting just a few chairs down from me and I remember he just sat there and stared at the stage. Karen had already sat down, to a standing ovation. When Dave got up to speak he seemed baffled and distracted. He asked his wife to come up on stage and pray for him before he spoke. She did and he delivered a powerful message.
Later that week at breakfast Dave told me that Karen's story disturbed him so much that he completely lost his train of thought. He told me that her "humility and transparency" were so "thick" on the stage when he got up he felt he needed to take off his shoes and run out the back. He told me that the "cloud" was heavy on stage when he got up to speak and that Karen had "rearranged" the platform. After hearing Karen speak the heart of God that night, he wasn't sure why he even tried to follow her.
I told him he should try and be her youth pastor. He said no thank you, last night was hard enough.
One student minister told me his group went back to their cabin and talked for hours about what Karen said. It set the tone for the week and even the summer for those students. They saw a living, breathing example of what it means to live life to the fullest, no matter what.
I remember one night Karen got up in front of the youth group and asked them to forgive her for not being a bolder witness at her high school campus. One of her friends looked up at me and just shook her head as if to say, "She is the most powerful witness on that campus just by the way she lives her life. How can she think she has let us or God down?" The bar had just been set much higher.
My favorite memory of Karen was her high school graduation. Her graduating class was enormous, 639 students. Karen was almost at the end of the list alphabetically, so by the time she walked the stage we all were pretty worn out. When the school official called out her name and she walked across the stage, her class began to clap. Then they stood up and gave Karen a standing ovation. The coolest sight was when one of the first people to stand up was Greg Ostertag, one of her class mates. Greg is the seven-foot basketball center who later played for the Utah Jazz. Greg was one of the students that began the standing ovation as if to say, "Karen, I've always looked up to you!"
I could tell you story after story of Karen—about how many times other students told me she made them think differently about their own lives and how they were challenged to live a life that was worthy of imitation. I remember driving home at night after a youth event that Karen was at and wondering what she would be doing years later—how her life would continue to bring life to others.
The thing I learned most from Karen was how simple it is to lead others to a deeper walk just by living a quiet, genuine, life. It doesn't have to be famous, or fast, or strong, or bold. It just has to be real.
Karen's faith had a color and a sound. It was bright and it was loud. If you knew Karen you would know this to be an odd description
of her. Karen does not draw attention to herself. Karen is not loud. She is quiet and soft spoken. But I believe if faith gives off a color in heaven, Karen's faith is like a rainbow that has no end and no beginning. And if faith has a sound; Karen's must sound like a 1,000 voice choir. So the next time you need a visual of what faith may look like to those of us who need to be reminded everyday that what we do, how we respond and react to the hand that is dealt to us here on earth ask yourself this question; What shade of faith does the world need to see in my life, and is my faith a whisper or a shout?"
Karen also taught me that life is sometimes difficult. Life is sometimes painful. It is sometimes confusing and harsh and unfair. But life is also a gift from God. It is a package to be opened every day. Don't look at what you don't have, but be thankful for what you do have; your life is His design.
It is His plan.
It is His purpose.
He has never second guessed a decision.
He built Karen from scratch; it was a good day.
It was a very good day.
If you've never met Karen, you've missed one of the most incredible people in the world. Karen reminds me daily of the simplicity of the good news of the gospel. If ever there was an icon for the butterfly effect of grace, it is Karen. Everyone who has come in contact with her will tell you today that she changed their life. Even today I will run into student ministry colleagues that met Karen and they will always ask about her.
Thank you, Karen, for allowing me to share your incredible life story. I know you are never one to seek out the spotlight. You need to know you changed my life. And now with your permission I have extended that reach.
Unfortunately I cannot remember all the students' names I worked with over the years.
I will never forget Karen Yates.
Karen, God used you to open my eyes to so much. I remember sentences you said to me. I remember where I was standing when you told me your favorite passage of scripture and why it was so special to you. I remember the look on your face when we had that awesome graduation party for you. I remember when you sat down after speaking at different events, almost baffled at why everyone was still clapping and still standing.
Karen, I have never told you this before, but every time I read the last chapter of Max Lucado's book The Applause of Heaven, I think of you. Max ends that book with a picture of what it might be like when we enter heaven for the first time:
"You'll be home soon too. You may not have noticed it, but you are closer to home than ever before. Each moment is a step taken. Each breath is a page turned. Each day is a mile marked, a mountain climbed. You are closer to home than you've ever been. Before you know it, your appointed arrival time will come; you'll descend the ramp and enter the City. You'll see faces that are waiting for you. You'll hear your name spoken by those who love you. And, maybe, just maybe—in the back, behind the crowds—the One who would rather die than live without you will remove his pierced hands from his heavenly robe and….applaud."
Karen, it won't be your first standing ovation.
But this one will last for what seems like an eternity.
God Bless!
